To Be This Particular Animal

Normally I sit here and simply vomit words onto the keyboard and ultimately the screen, but I have started this multiple times. My initial intention was to write something lighter, about being a middle aged man who's never been able to make sense of the mixed message that have come at me from society and from women in general. But the truth is no one really cares about that, including me. We're all bombarded by things that make no sense. What a man deals with is nothing compared to the horse shit that comes at women like it's shot from a bazooka. Yet I see some people who are able to simply... be.

Whether it's being told we're not enough, not conforming to some idea of what we're supposed to be (that damn conditional tense again) or just being made fun of for being different, we're besieged by this stupidity. As a man, the messages are confusing and conflicting. As a woman, they're insane and somewhere beyond the far side of debilitating. 

So how are some able to push past all of it and even thrive?

In some cases it's the result of being raised to believe in oneself and having that belief reinforced. This is more than having confidence. It's a synergy of elements and conditions that can put an individual on a positive trajectory.

In some cases it's finding the right partner, be it personally or in one's field of endeavor. That collaboration and support is rare.

But some individuals have none of these things and manage to succeed. How?

The answer, as far as I can tell, is to believe in oneself and in one's goals to the point of simply knowing they're right. This means not getting caught up in the messages of individuals or society to the contrary. 

In some ways this lines up with the earlier post about answers being out there, but I think this is deeper than that which was really about hard work and tenacity. This is more ineffable. Doing all the hard work in the world means nothing if you're not working toward something. 

And this is obviously a lot harder than what we teach children. This requires more than depth of conviction, more than the confidence that comes from training. I'm talking about knowing in one's blood and bones that something is what one's meant to do, that it must be done. In a way this is rising to one's calling. 

No, I'm not on about something so grandiose as starting a religion or saving a culture. This is more about developing into the person one wants to be or creating something, be it in the arts, sciences or manufacturing fields. This is knowing one's truth before ever setting foot on the road of life. This is what we marvel at without ever really stopping to think about what this kind of individual faces in terms of resistance constantly. 

We can all learn from people like this, but in this day and age what I see is much more often a chorus of those trying to bring him or her down. Being different and 'other' should be embraced because it throws light onto what we are not. It shows us that there is another way to be and another way to approach things. 

Yes, I'm aware that I've employed the conditional tense, but this is also the sort of context where that works. 

Maybe next time will be the lighter piece and I can blather about the woes of being a clueless guy who's wanted love and romance and found himself a hermit. Or maybe I'll finally pen something cohesive. This time you got neither.