I've written about empathy and compassion, about how they're seen as outdated in the same way many of my core beliefs are. But I want to revisit these aspects of cognition for just a moment as this may be more than a little ironic.
Having distanced myself from most social media, I only really only get the barest of it these days but seeing the reactions of people having to stay home has been something for me. Everything from boredom to borderline mania with a lot in between has popped up in my feed a lot. People who have never dealt with it before are now staring depression square in the face. Having to confront all those things pushed to the back of the brain pan must be powerfully unsettling for those who never have chosen to deal with them.
And I bring it up because the reaction seems all but inevitably to voice even more the 'woe is me' sentiment rather than to simply look at all the people who have been dealing with the ghosts and demons and take the opportunity to reach out in support or solidarity. But no, instead of this being a time and a chance to find how much more we all have in common, I'm seeing even more separation and hearing louder whining. Yes, I realize I grew up in another century but when did the paradigm switch so far from "help one's fellow humans" to "my problems are so serious, you guys"? I won't say I'm not cynical and there won't come a day I describe myself as a Samaritan, but of all the time for people to choose superficiality, this one surprises me.
With all the means of communication and connectivity at our disposal, the one thing I've noticed is that people stopped reaching out to me when lockdown/quarantine began. Some return my communications (and I love those of you who have!), but fewer and fewer do. This is not me blaming anyone as a populace has to face things it never did and most know I'm just fine on my own, but it does mean my isolation is a bit more profound. Luckily, I have music and writing to see me through and the view from my window is always breathtaking.
As usual, I am not trying to draw conclusions or offer up solutions so much as just ruminating and meandering, so thank you for coming along for the non-journey. Next time I'll see if I can't maybe actually write something cohesive and more fun to read.
Oh! One quick caveat: this latest iteration of Blogger doesn't allow me to reply to comments. But please know that I read them all and thank anyone who's taking the time to pore over what I e-scrawl here!
Monday, April 27, 2020
Monday, April 6, 2020
Strange Reflections
In a time of uncertainly, I think a certain amount of introspection and reminiscence is inevitable. It happens to most of us at weddings and funerals, reunions and driving past old haunts. So with the entire world on hold, we're all looking inward more than usual. What does that mean for your humble narrator? Why, more blather! So yes, here's your window of opportunity: flee if you want not to be stuck in the mire of my grey matter.
The day to day of my life hasn't changed much, other than my no longer needing to use an alarm clock. No one knocks on the door now, but occasionally someone yells from outside the window. Far fewer flatlanders walking the street or parking in the driveway. Some loss of appetite, but that works better for rationing anyway.
If things are not so changed, upon what am I reflecting?
Just going deeper down that rabbit hole of 'having passed the half century mark' really. When I look in the mirror, no matter what is going on otherwise, I see a man. No really physical traces left of the boy I've known for so long. The shape of face and frame seem to rearrange themselves regardless of what I think or want. Even the line of my jaw is different.
But as I watch the ways people interact, as language's structure metamorphoses on a daily basis, I have so much more empathy for those folks I looked at perplexed when I was a boy. The world has to change, but there's a point at which we no longer want to as well. Some of us. I see a lot of people that are good going along with the ride and I salute them from my small kingdom of Anachronism.
No for me this is a time to look at the dreams of my youth, the aspirations of my earlier adulthood and the contributions I may or may not have made to the world. If this is a time of stasis, am I okay putting things on hold?
Nope. There's still too much to do. There's a book to finish. Music to create. Friends who need to hear that I love them and family living with uncertainty. Smiles are in short supply everywhere and even the weather seems to have gone wacky. Some of us seem to be dealing with anxiety while others are struggling with boredom. Forced to keep distant from one another, it's now becoming apparent to many that things like hugs and handshakes are often taken for granted.
It isn't surprising that a bunch of people I know have reached out to me lately to get advice on how to cope. And one sent me an article to a man who's been living alone as long as I've been alive. What's interesting to me is that he and I have developed a lot of the same skills to stay sane and functioning: having a routine, keep track of something, do things that make you feel good, challenge yourself.
Most important is realizing that even being isolated, none of us is really alone. I stopped engaging in social activities because I realized my expectations were high, that what others wanted of me was not what I could do or be. But most who are now homebound are not there by choice and are starting to feel those things that they generally only have to deal with when sick for a protracted time. But this is a great time to text silly things, to reach out to friends and let them know you're thinking of them, to do what you can to support one another.
It is not the time to mindlessly panic and raise everyone's anxiety. The ambient dread and uncertainty are high right now, but the reality is that we have no idea vat's ahead. Given that and since we're all knuckling down already, why not try and put more positive out there? While I have always be a 'love is all you need' kind of guy, this is a time for some of it. It's easy to give in to doubt, worry and fear. Now is the time to be there for one another in all the ways we can, even if we can't hug.
The day to day of my life hasn't changed much, other than my no longer needing to use an alarm clock. No one knocks on the door now, but occasionally someone yells from outside the window. Far fewer flatlanders walking the street or parking in the driveway. Some loss of appetite, but that works better for rationing anyway.
If things are not so changed, upon what am I reflecting?
Just going deeper down that rabbit hole of 'having passed the half century mark' really. When I look in the mirror, no matter what is going on otherwise, I see a man. No really physical traces left of the boy I've known for so long. The shape of face and frame seem to rearrange themselves regardless of what I think or want. Even the line of my jaw is different.
But as I watch the ways people interact, as language's structure metamorphoses on a daily basis, I have so much more empathy for those folks I looked at perplexed when I was a boy. The world has to change, but there's a point at which we no longer want to as well. Some of us. I see a lot of people that are good going along with the ride and I salute them from my small kingdom of Anachronism.
No for me this is a time to look at the dreams of my youth, the aspirations of my earlier adulthood and the contributions I may or may not have made to the world. If this is a time of stasis, am I okay putting things on hold?
Nope. There's still too much to do. There's a book to finish. Music to create. Friends who need to hear that I love them and family living with uncertainty. Smiles are in short supply everywhere and even the weather seems to have gone wacky. Some of us seem to be dealing with anxiety while others are struggling with boredom. Forced to keep distant from one another, it's now becoming apparent to many that things like hugs and handshakes are often taken for granted.
It isn't surprising that a bunch of people I know have reached out to me lately to get advice on how to cope. And one sent me an article to a man who's been living alone as long as I've been alive. What's interesting to me is that he and I have developed a lot of the same skills to stay sane and functioning: having a routine, keep track of something, do things that make you feel good, challenge yourself.
Most important is realizing that even being isolated, none of us is really alone. I stopped engaging in social activities because I realized my expectations were high, that what others wanted of me was not what I could do or be. But most who are now homebound are not there by choice and are starting to feel those things that they generally only have to deal with when sick for a protracted time. But this is a great time to text silly things, to reach out to friends and let them know you're thinking of them, to do what you can to support one another.
It is not the time to mindlessly panic and raise everyone's anxiety. The ambient dread and uncertainty are high right now, but the reality is that we have no idea vat's ahead. Given that and since we're all knuckling down already, why not try and put more positive out there? While I have always be a 'love is all you need' kind of guy, this is a time for some of it. It's easy to give in to doubt, worry and fear. Now is the time to be there for one another in all the ways we can, even if we can't hug.
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